Animation
Disney Junior’s Ariel
Disney Junior’s Ariel is so kid-friendly, even the sea witch is now the friendly and soulful Tauntie Ursula.
Those rascally Ewings. CBS tried to pull the plug on the family’s soapy schemes way back in 1991: Thirteen seasons of über-villain J.R. plotting and conniving and drinking and cheating was plenty, execs said—particularly since not many folks were watching toward the end.
But you can’t keep a bad oil baron down. Now, after a nice, long, two-decade layoff, Big D is back—still fronted by its biggest, most notorious pest. Now on TNT, Dallas seems to pick up about where it (and a pair of reunion specials) left off. Many of the original program’s most important characters—J.R., “good” Ewing brother Bobby, and J.R.’s former wife Sue Ellen—are back. Plots still revolve around big oil and the big Southfork Ranch. “We consider this year 14 of the show,” said Patrick Duffy (who plays Bobby) on The Tonight Show. “It’s exactly as if [viewers] forgot which channel we were on.”
But time never stands perfectly still, even for Dallas. Bobby’s battling cancer. J.R. uses a walker occasionally (mostly to glean a few pity points here and there). And there’s a new cast of heroes and villains to meet, too. At the top of the list is J.R.’s son John Ross, whom his pappy grudgingly describes as a “chip off the old block.” His next-gen rival? Bobby’s adopted son Christopher, who’s dreaming of starting a renewable energy biz. (He drives an electric Tesla sports car for emphasis.) The latter got married to a seemingly nice young woman named Rebecca (who may be hatching her own no-good scheme with the help of her brother). The former’s still obsessed with Christopher’s old girlfriend Elena.
Television itself has changed over the last 20 years, too. Dallas—never exactly a model of restraint back in the old days—feels a bit more amped up, content-wise, from what fans might remember. Sex scenes are full of suggestive moans and movements. Occasional language would make Miss Ellie blush.
Granted, when it comes to shows built around familial intrigue and infighting, it’s far from the worst on TV these days: HBO’s Game of Thrones has that little competition pretty much locked. And, frankly, Dallas is even a Back 40 or two better than some notable network shows.
But is it good, clean, family entertainment? Just one look at gleeful schemer J.R. tells you everything you need to know about what this series thinks of family.
“Hedging Your Bets”
The episode begins with a voyeuristic peek at Christopher and Rebecca’s wedding night—a night filled with intimate lace and suggestive movements. The interlude was to be a precursor to their Tahitian honeymoon, but the couple decides to stick around and convince Bobby not to sell Southfork to finance Chris’ business. Little does Chris know, though, that Bobby has cancer. Or that his new wife is scheming with her brother to pull off some sort of scam. Or that J.R. and John Ross are planning to buy Southfork under the auspices of a phony conservancy. Nor does J.R. suspect that John Ross and conservancy rep Marta Del Sol are planning on snatching Southfork away from J.R. to keep it for themselves.
Like they say, everything’s bigger in Texas … even the schemes and scams.
Marta drugs John Ross’ drink and has sex with him, recording the whole thing. We see sexualized movements and, the next morning, John Ross removing ropes from his wrists before running to the bathroom to throw up. Characters drink a great deal and use a smattering of bad language, including “h‑‑‑” (more than a dozen times), “d‑‑n” (a half-dozen times), “b‑‑ch” (twice) and “a‑‑hole” (once).
Paul Asay has been part of the Plugged In staff since 2007, watching and reviewing roughly 15 quintillion movies and television shows. He’s written for a number of other publications, too, including Time, The Washington Post and Christianity Today. The author of several books, Paul loves to find spirituality in unexpected places, including popular entertainment, and he loves all things superhero. His vices include James Bond films, Mountain Dew and terrible B-grade movies. He’s married, has two children and a neurotic dog, runs marathons on occasion and hopes to someday own his own tuxedo. Feel free to follow him on Twitter @AsayPaul.
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