When you see the game title Goat Simulator 3, you might have a tough time imagining the appeal.Could there actually be a game that has you play as a typical goat? And could it possibly be interesting enough that the gamemakers needed to create two sequels?! Does that make any sense?!
Well, the answers to all three queries is a resounding … not really.
You play as a goat, but it sure ain’t typical. And thisis the second game in the series by Coffee Stains Studios, following 2014’s original Goat Simulator. But that title oddity kinda tells you something: If you’re going to play this open-world game, the first thing you need to do is decide not to make sense of it. Because that’s the point.
Goat Simulator 3 doesn’t start you out with a tutorial, any game story, or rules. It just drops you, a goat, down into a big open world populated by people who are chatting, wandering and driving around. Oh, and it’s also a decidedly absurd world packed with blissfully silly visual gags, winking pop-culture references and bizarre quests.
Your goaty goal here is to earn points while fulfilling a huge list of stupid quests, such as figuring out how to run for president (remember, as a goat) and win. But if you object to even that much structure, you can simply come up with every strange thing you may have ever wanted to do in a game and then bring that to reality in the hoofs of an indestructible, physics-defying and bleating caprine.
You’ll find collectable trinkets and ability-boosting accessories along the way, and you’ll be able to deck your goat out in the goofiest outfits imaginable.
So, what types of things can you and your goat actually do?
You can start with silly things such as wearing pink rain boots and a tutu while rubbing your backside on a boardwalk. You can steal a cop car, fly around with butterfly wings, and carry the evil eye of Sauron on your back. You can prompt three ballerinas to spin so quickly that they create a destructive tornado, or you could experience being eaten by a whale. Hey, you can even drop an atom bomb on the unsuspecting citizenry; drag a house with your tongue; commandeer a UFO; and unleash a race of anthropomorphic banana people on the world. It’s all possible and more.
Gamers can play solo or with up to three friends, locally or online. Playing multiplayer adds some seven minigames into the playable mix, such as a leaping-over-lava parkour game and a “headsplat” game that lets you paint the world with headbutts.
The game has a certain inane whimsy. And this second entry in the franchise is designed to incorporate multiplayer—suggesting that sharing the unfettered craziness with friends will make the antics more infectiously grin-worthy.
Some will, frankly, find the lack of game structure a bit off putting. But Goat Simulator 3 can be a very casual, non-stressful amusement.
For all of its zany and casual qualities, however, this game can push the boundaries of its T rating.
As alluded to above, humans in this world can be harassed, hurt and decimated in many different ways. They can be detonated, run over, shoved off cliffs, set on fire, electrocuted, etc.Often, they respond to such physical insults by flopping around like a ragdoll.
Toilety, gaseous and vomiting effects abound. And the NPC language can get rough-edged. Exclamations of “aw, s–t,” “kick yer a–,” “what the h—” “Judas Priest” and a blending of God’s name with “d–n” can be heard.
Some of the nonsense in the mix can cross spiritual lines at times as well. In one case, you can find a large hidden red pentagram in the game. And if you drag a group of NPC human “sacrifices” to that glowing pentagram you’re given the “Blood for the Blood Goat” achievement that also awards a black, horned devilish exterior. On the opposite side of the spectrum, your goat can find a holy book that he carries on his head and uses to send NPCs skyward with a “Rapture” ability.
You may not guess it, but Goat Simulator 3 is probably the most outrageously bizarre and chaotic game you’ve ever encountered. And it wears that badge with pride. But there are also some headbutts in the bleating mix.
After spending more than two decades touring, directing, writing and producing for Christian theater and radio (most recently for Adventures in Odyssey, which he still contributes to), Bob joined the Plugged In staff to help us focus more heavily on video games. He is also one of our primary movie reviewers.
