The Grammy Awards are supposed to be about music.
But this year, that focus got somewhat pre-emptively derailed by a leaked CBS memo that spelled out, in precise anatomical detail, exactly how anyone who might end up on camera—presenters, award winners, even those sitting in the audience—was supposed to dress.
I’ll republish the memo here, but be warned, it’s very, very specific when it comes to the body parts that ought to stay covered:
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe. Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
Upon first reading this story, it seemed to me that CBS was admirably trying, in the wake of all those infamous wardrobe malfunctions during past awards shows and sports broadcasts, to take responsibility for anything that might raise the culture’s collective eyebrows. Just two weeks before, after all, CBS had come under fire for broadcasting an uncensored f-word from Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco after his team’s Super Bowl victory. It wasn’t hard for me to imagine a frustrated CBS manager saying, “Look, we can’t have any more of this kind of stuff getting accidentally aired; we’ve got to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
When I talked it over with my editor, however, he quickly suggested that the memo was more likely motivated by the need to have a legal defense handy if anyone did misbehave than an indication of corporate responsibility. He also mused over the possibility that they’ve sent out similar memos in the past, but that they just never made their way into the news cycle before.
Turns out he was on to something. USA Today reports that the memo does indeed resemble others that had been sent out for previous Grammy telecasts.
The question, then, became how much attention participants would pay to the specific instructions.
Not much.
Rihanna was arguably the most flagrant offender, with many observers commenting on how her sheer dress did little to hide the singer’s nipple rings. Katy Perry sported acres of cleavage. Jennifer Lopez, a serial wardrobe offender in past years, wore a dress that, while technically following the rules, revealed nearly all of her right leg. “As you can see, I read the memo,” Lopez joked onstage. “They didn’t say anything about leg!” she told E! correspondent Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet. Other artists flaunting more flesh than CBS was officially asking for included Kelly Rowland, Kimbra, Ashanti, Skylar Grey and D’Manti.
Meanwhile, DJ Joel Zimmerman, better known by his stage name Deadmau5, arrived wearing a hat saying, “Your S‑‑‑ Bums Me Out”—a profane message that was soon censored by a strategically placed piece of tape.
Whether CBS is developing a corporate conscience or just covering itself legally when artists insist upon uncovering themselves, we may never know for sure. What we can say with some certainty, however, is that hoping nonconformist, boundary-pushing artists will suddenly conform to a network’s (or a culture’s) boundaries is an exercise in wishful thinking.
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